Summary
The overlooked factor that determines success
Picture two identical negotiation scenarios: same contract terms, same financial stakes, same timeline pressure. In the first meeting, discussions flow smoothly, both sides find creative solutions, and everyone leaves satisfied. In the second, tensions escalate, positions become entrenched, and what should have been a straightforward agreement turns into a protracted battle.
What made the difference? Not the facts, figures, or legal terms. It was the personalities in the room.
Negotiations are complex, and nothing influences them more than the personalities involved. Despite its significance, many negotiators overlook this crucial aspect. They often don't even understand their own personality traits and how these traits shape their negotiation style. The detail-oriented analyst who insists on examining every clause might frustrate the big-picture thinker who wants to move quickly to the main issues. The relationship-focused negotiator who begins with small talk could irritate the results-driven executive who views pleasantries as time-wasting.
You don't need a psychology degree to grasp the basics of personality traits. There are plenty of online tools available, like the DISC personality assessment, to help you understand yourself and others better. More importantly, you need to recognise that your natural negotiation style might be precisely the wrong approach for the person sitting across from you.
Why Personality Matters in Negotiation
Understanding personality is a strategy. Knowing the personality types involved on both your team and the other side can significantly impact the negotiation outcome.
Take a direct, impatient negotiator facing someone who needs time to think through details. The first person starts pushing for quick decisions, interpreting silence as a sign of hesitation or weakness. The second person shuts down, feeling pressured and bulldozed. What could have been a straightforward discussion becomes a standoff, with both sides convinced the other is acting in bad faith.
Or watch a people-focused negotiator spend twenty minutes on small talk with someone who just wants to get to business. The relationship-builder thinks they're creating trust and rapport. The task-focused person thinks they're dealing with someone who isn't serious about the deal.
These personality differences are deal-breakers disguised as minor inconveniences. When you misread someone's communication style, you might interpret their need for detailed analysis as a stalling tactic or their preference for relationship-building as manipulation. Conversely, when you adapt your approach to match their natural preferences, what seemed like an impossible negotiation suddenly becomes manageable.
The most skilled negotiators prepare for the people, not just their arguments and alternatives. They observe verbal and non-verbal cues, adjust their communication style mid-conversation, and understand that the same message delivered in different ways can produce entirely different responses. They know that a cautious planner won't be swayed by enthusiasm alone, whilst a relationship builder won't respond well to cold, impersonal fact recitation.
DISC: A Quick Guide to Understanding Personality Types
You don't need to be a scholar of psychology to learn the basics of personality traits or invest a tonne of time into learning. Today, you can either tap into many online apps that do the job or start with the "DISC personality assessment". The DISC is a behaviour self-assessment tool initially based on the 1928 DISC emotional and behavioural theory of psychologist William Moulton Marston.
You can often spot these personality types within the first few minutes of meeting someone. The way they introduce themselves, how they respond to your opening questions, their body language, and even how they've arranged their office or chosen their seat at the table all provide clues.
You need to adjust your approach before you've already triggered their defensive responses or lost their interest. A dominant personality who's ready to make decisions might lose patience if you spend too much time on background information. An analytical type might shut down if you push for commitment before they've had a chance to thoroughly evaluate all the details.
DISC gives you a practical way to read people quickly and avoid unnecessary friction. Every personality type responds differently to the same approach, and knowing these differences can make or break your negotiation.
Red: The Dominant Leaders
These individuals are organised and assertive. They like to take charge and are often very goal-oriented.
You'll recognise them immediately. They arrive early or exactly on time, sit at the head of the table if possible, and get straight to business without much small talk. They speak in definitive terms, make quick decisions, and often interrupt others to move the conversation forward. Their questions focus on outcomes: "What's the bottom line?" or "When can we close this?"
With dominant types, respect their time and authority. Present your strongest points first, avoid lengthy explanations unless asked, and be prepared to make decisions quickly. Don't mistake their directness for rudeness. They simply prefer efficiency over politeness. If you try to build rapport through extended relationship-building, they'll view you as wasting their time. Instead, demonstrate competence through preparation and clear, confident communication.
Blue: The Cautious Planners
People in this category are accurate and cautious. They prefer to have all the details before making a decision.
Blue types ask detailed questions, take extensive notes, and rarely make decisions on the spot. They'll want to see documentation, research, and proof to support your claims. They speak more slowly and deliberately, often saying things like "I need to review this" or "Can you send me the supporting data?" They're uncomfortable with high-pressure tactics and will shut down if rushed.
Give them time and information. Send detailed proposals in advance, be prepared to answer technical questions, and don't expect immediate commitments. Follow up with written summaries and additional documentation. Rushing them is counterproductive. They need to feel confident in their decision through thorough analysis. Respect their process, even if it seems slow to you.
Yellow: The Relationship Builders
These are the people persons. They are calm, interactive, and often the life of the party.
Yellow types walk in with a smile, remember your name from previous meetings, and ask about your weekend before discussing business. They speak enthusiastically, use expressive gestures, and focus on how decisions will affect people. They say things like "How does everyone feel about this?" or "Let's make sure we're all comfortable with the direction." They prefer face-to-face meetings over emails and want to build genuine connections.
Start with relationship-building, but avoid superficial small talk. Show genuine interest in them as people. Be warm and approachable in your communication style. When presenting options, emphasise how your proposal benefits their team or organisation. They respond well to stories and examples rather than dry statistics. Don't be purely transactional. They need to trust you personally before they'll trust your business proposal.
However, don't let the relationship-building drag on indefinitely. Yellow types can get sidetracked by personal conversations and lose focus on the actual negotiation. Gently guide them back to business matters whilst maintaining the warm tone they prefer.
Green: The Analytical Thinkers
Green types are supportive and stable. They like to analyse situations deeply before taking action.
Green personalities are the quiet observers in the room. They listen more than they speak, take careful notes, and ask thoughtful questions that get to the heart of complex issues. When they do speak, it's measured and deliberate. They say things like "I need to think about this" or "What are the long-term implications?" They're uncomfortable with high-pressure situations and prefer collaborative decision-making over individual authority.
Be patient and thorough with Green types. They appreciate when you acknowledge their expertise and ask for their input on technical or strategic matters. Present information logically and systematically. Give them time to process complex proposals without rushing for immediate responses. They respond well to data-driven arguments but also want to understand the broader context and implications.
Don't mistake their quiet nature for disengagement. Green types are often the most thorough thinkers in the room. They'll spot potential problems that others miss and provide valuable insights if you give them the space to contribute. Respect their need for reflection time and follow up with them individually if they seem hesitant to speak up in group settings.
Adapting Your Negotiation Strategy
Once you understand the different personality types, you can adjust your negotiation strategy accordingly. Change your tactics and communication style to better engage with the personalities you're dealing with.
The most successful negotiators don't use the same approach with everyone. A presentation that energises a Yellow type might overwhelm a Green type. The detailed analysis that satisfies a Blue type might frustrate a Red type who wants quick decisions. Your natural style might work perfectly with people similar to you, but it could create unnecessary friction with those who process information differently.
Watch for personality clues early in the conversation. Someone who jumps straight to "What's the timeline?" is likely Red. Someone who asks "Can you walk me through your methodology?" is probably Blue. Someone who says "How will this affect the team?" is likely Yellow. Someone who asks "What are the potential risks?" is probably Green.
Adjust your opening, your pace, and your closing based on what you observe. Start with relationship-building for Yellow types, lead with results for Red types, provide detailed information for Blue types, and allow processing time for Green types. The same negotiation can succeed or fail based purely on how well you match your approach to their personality.
Why You Should Talk to Us
We're an independent consulting business that doesn't sell licenses or Cloud services. We do this intentionally to keep our advice unbiased.
Let Us Guide You Through Your Next Negotiation
If you've got an upcoming software or Cloud vendor negotiation, we're here to help. Please fill out the form below to share your challenges with us, and we'll work together to resolve them.